Thursday, August 11, 2005

On being a control freak

I'm going to reprint today's "horoscope" from Michael Lutin's web site
-- the daily fix section. I'm not linking to that section since, by the time you read this, what I'm going to quote will probably be gone. That's also why I'm reprinting it here.

No going on about how astrology is a bunch of hooey. Of course it is. But that's not to say there's nothing to learn there. It's like flipping a coin to make a decision -- it's not an act of giving up the decision, it's a gut-check to see how you feel about the "chance" decision the coin made. So, it's not that Jupiter has any control over anybody's life, or that the placement of stars vis-a-vis the geographic and chronologic event of your birth has anything to do with your personality. It's a way to ponder symbolism and archetype and make sense of the metaphors in your existence.

Ok, here's Michael Lutin's words for today:
It's difficult to be totally realistic and practical and keep your feet on the ground, especially when you want, crave, need and hope for a big break to help you change your life, lift you up, provide you with the kick and the push and the momentum you think you need.

So naturally you're likely to imbue a person, place or thing with powers he, she, or it can't possibly have in the hopes that this is the big one. this is what you've been waiting for.

Obviously, then, when people or opportunities turn out to be fatally flawed or just plain human, or in some way don't live up to your fantasies, hopes, dreams, wishes, and expectations, it's a letdown.

On the other hand, if you go into everything thinking it's not going to work out, then sooner or later you're going to make it so.

People have to be accepted for the human beings they are and as long as you keep your own life and don't give away all your power and put all your energy into fixing somebody who can't or won't be fixed, you'll be fine.
See, the challenge for the person who has to control everything is that they are setting themselves up for failure.

Worse, when they find these "failings" (which aren't really failings... they are just the things no one can control nor should expect to control), they have to decide ... "should I stay or should I go".

If they stay, despite the "failings" ... then they are saying that they deserve and accept failure. And it's a quick ride to misery to think that.

If they leave, because of the "failings" ... the are admitting that they were beaten by those failings (and, deep in their hearts they sense the truth ... that they're leaving something valuable behind, something they didn't HAVE to leave).

The only answer is ... LET IT BE.

Things will be as they are. You have to accept them, and let yourself see the joy and beauty and truth in them. Of course, turn and run from malicious destructiveness. Be wary of misguided maliciousness (the kind that comes when people are scared and insecure).

When you're a control freak, it's because you WANT things to turn out well.

The trick is, though, they don't turn out well unless you can let things go.

Just because you "let" things go their own way, doesn't mean they'll leave you forever. In fact, WHEN you let go, you'll find they stay around, if they were worth staying with in the first place.

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